Well here we go, off with a surgery! Everything went as well as could be hoped for yesterday and for that I am so thankful. If you like details I'll give you a window into a day having cancer removed from you breast. But first my son Tony said he missed the thanksgiving lists, so here is a short one for today:
1- for collard greens from my neighbor's garden...some for the turtles and more to juice for me; it doesn't get much better!
2- a husband who sets his alarm to keep pain meds on schedule
3- for the beautiful Sharp Out Patient Pavilion and their very kind staff
4- for a no make up allowed but good hair day yesterday (don't laugh you men out there)
5- that I threw up right into the barf bag when we were walking through the garage into the house
I was so afraid I would absentmindedly drink or eat something after 11 pm the night before, but had I taken even a sip of water they said they would have rescheduled the surgery. Its a little embarrassing how much I wanted it all to be over so I could just eat something. First thing, a few shots of radioactive dye so they could follow the path of drainage in order to take out the primary draining lymph nodes under my arm. After a long wait I got my own little pre-op room with an easy chair, TV, and Ben. I held court there meeting the IV inserting nurse who had dreadlocks she had been growing for 12 years, don't get me started on hair, the nurse who has you give permission and sign away responsibility quite a few times, a quick visit from Dr. Imler whose hands I grabbed and gave him the benediction "The Lord bless you and keep you" and the surprised smile on his face made me forget the last phrase momentarily, Maureen from the breast cancer care center who gave me a pink bag full of helpful pink things, and finally the anesthesiologist who always gets the last word.
A few reactions I had took me by surprise. First when Maureen pulled a purple heart shaped pillow out of her bag with the phrase "Because we care" printed on the side I started to cry. Ben was stuffing down a laugh at me and I was taken by surprise at my quivering lip! Pondering it later, I think she and that pillow put a face on all of the emails, texts, phone calls,books, food, bath bombs, cards, meals and flowers showered on me lately, so really I was crying about all of you and all of the love and support.
Secondly, one of Ben's friends made plans to come over and pray with him after 1:30 and I heard them talk about leaving the hospital to get some lunch too. Back came the tears. "Why are you crying?" "I don't want you to leave the hospital. What happens if something bad happens and they need to talk to you right away?" "I'll be 5 minutes away and there are no DNR orders for you, don't worry!" But the tears keep coming, so guess which security blanket ate horrible hospital food for lunch, poor baby. It's nice when a guy knows when to stop trying the rational approach when squaring off with emotions he doesn't understand.
They walked me in my beautiful gown and no slip socks down the hall to the operating room where a few nurses in scrubs were moving about finishing up last minute details. My attention was caught by the enormous machinery and what looked like a dentist's tray of sharp tools on steroids waiting for Dr. Imler in the corner. The table itself is the shape of a large cross with a thin pad and blankets on top. I kept my focus away from the tool tray and up at the lights, answered their friendly questions about how I tore my ACL a few years ago, the mask came down and the world started to warble before I woke up in another room. Oh the joys of modern medicine.
And I guess that's about as exciting as it got. It took me a little while to wake up, pull on some loose clothes and then we were off for home. The report was they found nothing new or unexpected, and tests are being run on the lymph nodes now to see if there is any cancer there. Other than that, I am comfortable on a half dose of vicaden with just a little dizzyness and soreness to bear.
I have a full month to recover, which coincides nicely with Tim's 18th birthday, graduation, and drive out to Texas for student orientation. I'm going to come back, donate my hair and start part two of a three point battle, the chemotherapy. I can't tell you how much I feel lifted up by prayer. I will never take anything like that lightly again because I am experiencing the power of it. Thank you. God is good all the time!
PS- I also thought someone might be interested in the blog of my sweet friend Kirsten Loy who is very bravely fighting colon cancer, right now in the chemo phase. Here is the link if interested:
http://www.kirstenloy.com/
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