Dead Woman Walking

Five more days until my surgery, and it feels something like Stephen Kings 1999 movie The Green Mile starring Tom Hanks. A guard in the death row wing of a prison meets an inmate unlike any other. John Coffy is a child- like giant of a man accused of killing two little girls, yet he is afraid to sleep without a night light and has a supernatural God given talent to breathe "death" out of others. The green mile is a line marked on the ground leading to the electric chair, and though it becomes evident to all of the guards and inmates that John was trying to heal the girls when he was apprehended, nothing can stop his walk down the green mile when the time comes.  It was the first time I heard the term "dead man walking", meaning the inmates were alive but sentenced to a certain appointed death.

I'm not afraid of having surgery, (been there done that already), but it bothers me having cancer in my body that I can feel. Apparently it has been there for quite a few years to have grown to the size it is, but now I know its name, and now it causes me some pain. Nothing that requires sympathy mind you, just a non stop reminder to me that until it comes out I am a dead woman walking.

Come to think of it though, we all are the walking dead. The biblical writer Paul put it this way, "The wages of sin is death..." If you are a parent you know what I mean when I say we were born with a death sentence based on what we are made of from birth. A memory burned into my memory is of my one year old daughter during our first major power struggle. For the second or third time, "No Julia don't put that rock in your mouth put it down!", a little slap on the top of her hand and then a few seconds later as another rock is slowly heading towards her mouth, eyes locked together, the rock gets licked and thrown over her shoulder and her eyes tell me "HA!". I knew then that I was in trouble.

I was 13 when someone explained God's perfection requirement. You see, there is no sin in heaven, so how could I possibly be a membership candidate if my presence there would ruin a pretty clean community track record?  Emotionally I was scrambling for an angle, and it was supplied to me that same night. Again Paul in the book of Romans chapter 6, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Let's go back to John Coffy to see what this means.

The guards set John down at a table, and on the other side a lawyer with a brief case. He opens a folder and places a piece of paper and a pen in front of John. "Basically John, Someone unknown to you has offered to walk the green mile in your place. The attorney general of the state of Missouri has deliberated and decided to accept the substitution if you are agreeable. Here is this Person's signature taking on your guilt, you must sign below His name that you relinquishing your guilt to Him,  and then He will be brought in to replace you here in the prison, ultimately replacing you on your day of execution."

God's own Son Jesus was that unknown Someone willing to step in for all of mankind.  The attorney general who would accept this substitution is actually the One who holds all authority, God Himself.  We all have the opportunity to sign on the dotted line, but you do have to pick up the pen.

On death row its not like you can do anything anymore to earn this mercy, and no one is expecting or asking you to try, just to believe in the unbelievable good fortune that has been freely given to you. That taking of the pen and signing is called repentance. We've all been in prison since we were formed in the womb,  shackled by imperfection from the get go.  I understood then that Heaven isn't about to let you or me ruin the unspeakable riches it has prepared for all of us, so I submitted to the divine plan, I repented on that day...I signed on the line.

In essence then I have lately been a dead woman walking only in the physical sense because I took care of the eternal a long time ago.  I want to stay here because I'm busy camping with people I love, yet I have no fear of going on to eternal life on the other side. In fact, it's a secret treasure I hold on to in my heart every day.

Including the next five when this journey of healing begins. I guess the hard part is that there are no guarantees here on the earth. God can give them sure because He has all power, but my doctors are just doing the best they can do. I think the important thing in all of this is to be ready for when life really begins on the forever side. Are you ready?

If this is something you would like to talk to me about I would really like to talk to you too. Understand that there will be a gap of time before I can get back to you, but I will begin to pray for you right away and figure out the other part while I am sitting around getting better.

Verses to look up if interested
Romans 5:6-8
Romans 6:23
John 3:16-18