Apoptosis

I was going to write tonight about my pre-op appointment but I didn't sleep long enough last night and almost fell out of my chair just now waking up from an unplanned nap. But now that I'm awake, I will say that it was short and to the point. I used to tell my kids to tell me one thing that happened in their day that was a good surprise, and mine today was that my friend Sharon called and said she wanted to come along for the appointment. Being a cancer survivor herself, she had her paper and pen ready to take notes and I think the surgeon was talking to her as much as to me. 

We had a quick bite to eat at C's Deli in Mira Mesa and then landed in the back end of Poway at Honey's house. You know, this whole experience has renewed my faith in the goodness of mankind. I never really doubted it, but I have been living more of a hermit lifestyle the past few years and this has pushed me back into civilization in a big way.  At Honey's house 6 other adorable women put brakes on their day and came over to pray...for me. Since I still feel good, it was like Christmas for the attention starved. 

I've learned something about cells that I find fascinating. Many or most, I don't now, have a predetermined life span, and when it is up they self destruct. They are given this suicidal directive to commit "apoptosis" by an enzyme I think, and this can also happen to the maimed and sick even if their time hasn't expired. Guess what cancer cells won't do? You're right, they won't self destruct.  Enzyme says, "Die now cell" and cancer says. "No way". 

Now don't laugh at me but I can't help but marvel at how that is a graphic picture of what I was reading in the bible today.  Isaiah 53:7

 He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet He did not open his mouth;
He was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so He did not open his mouth.

Basically unlike cancer, Jesus followed the Father and did what He was told. Since He is also the Omnipotent Creator of all we see and to the ends of the universe, that took a really humble heart...unlike cancer.  Cancer brings death but He obeyed in order to sustain and preserve life. 

I did think too that if He is my example, then accepting what the Father allows with this sheep-like attitude is what I should aspire to. I'm not saying that dying is always His great idea...like all the times Jesus healed the sick and raised the dead.

But when I refuse to listen to direction and when I fight against the command to apoptate in whatever form it is handed to me, then I start doing the work of a deadly cancer cell.  Rebellion seems to be one of just a few things that really get under the Father's skin. Being a parent myself I can relate.

By the way, since my theme through all of this is "Abiding", I was practicing abiding while I had an hour to wait by flipping through my bible and reading underlined verses here and there, but I didn't get much past this one.  I stopped and cried instead about how Jesus took the pain silently because He was supposed to, about how genuinely and passionately people really are about being helpful, for my friend whose husband is getting ready to go on to the other side...

No wonder I'm falling out of my chair...a big emotional day except for the trip to Costco, which by the way was a bit emotional when walking to my car I realized that it might be awhile before I do a big shopping trip there again.

Tomorrow I am going to look at wigs. That being said, tomorrow will also probably be a very good day to purposefully make another thanksgiving list.