Kirsten

You know how some friends do a lot of shopping together, or walking, or wine tasting? Well, I've been getting to know my friend Kirsten a bit more since we became cancer buddies. It all started about 4 years ago when our boys who are now high school freshmen started playing lacrosse on the same team.  I knew Kirsten was a believer like me, and that she has a lot of fun with jewelry, make-up and everything that's pretty or girlie, and that she is very open and friendly. But I didn't really start to see her much outside of lacrosse season until this one that just ended. We were all focused on the extreme challenge she was going through with stage 4 colon cancer. All of the moms on our team plus a hundred others here and there wear the green Kirsten prayer bracelets made by the high schoolers at her church where she is a leader.  I used to think about her and wonder how it felt to have your life at risk in such a way, and I would worry about her, and wonder how her family could handle the stress of it all happening to their beloved Kirsten.

When I found out about my own journey with cancer she was already a month into chemotherapy.  I called her up after having told only my family and one or two close friends. "Kirsten, I have something to talk to you about. Are you free sometime tomorrow?" "Well, I've got back to back appointments except for 1/2 hour between this and that...can we talk now on the phone?" "No, I need to talk to you face to face." "Oh, (puzzled pause) well why don't you come on over now then?"

I couldn't figure out an easy way to say it, so I sat opposite her in her office, our seating arrangements flip flopped from the month previous when she had asked me to come for a few minutes after dropping my son off to hang out.  Following her into the house that night I was thinking team drama gossip?...not her style...did my son do something horrible I don't know about?...not likely... "I have stage 4 colon cancer "was like getting slapped in the face.  I couldn't think of an easy way to say it either. We just looked at each other without knowing quite how to process it all. Cancer is never expected, and then having a cancer buddy is even stranger still.  Why us? Why now? Why together?

There is something very beautiful and lovely about her story that she reminded me of at this visit the other day and I wanted to share it with my friends too.  Her's is stage 4 because it has spread from her colon to her liver and must be treated very aggressively.  Her team of doctors at UCSD labored over a plan to save her life.  The news for her was this. In her condition, 9 out of 10 patients will be told they cannot be cured of their cancer, only kept alive much longer than they would be without treatment. Well guess what? Kirsten just happens to one of those lucky 1 out of 10 who for numerous reasons unknown to me at this moment can be completely cured of the cancer with treatment.  She gets to live!  I wonder if she jumped up and yelled "halleluhjah!" right there, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

 In the picture you can see a black bag around her neck which is a machine that pumps small doses of chemo into her system through a port in her chest for two days every two weeks.  In her own words about cancer...

Cancer has a name--it is "malicious one"--my definition, but it has no nickname, no pet name from me.  It is not special and not intimate.  But I have to face it, and define it, and battle with it.    And yet, whatever the situation, whatever the battle-- I have Father God, the GREAT I AM, the Name above all Names....who created me, and named me.

Right after she left I thought about the ten lepers Jesus healed, and only one sought that relational connection with their Healer by coming back to look Him in the eyes and express thanks. Is that why she was chosen to be the special one in that group of ten? Would she have been the one with the thankful heart? This is of course my own little way of thinking, but the thoughts of the Father passed mine over long ago so we will not know the answer until we get to the other side. Either way, we rejoice for now!

So now you know Kirsten too and can pray for her when you think of me. And if you are in the praying mood, try Sherri who is having a major procedure done this Friday, or for Debbie in stage 4 who is fighting to live every day. Sometimes I just shake my head and wonder how my life changed so fast. It's Ok though because I too know that the great I AM created me and decided how my life would go even before I was out of the womb. I'm abiding in Him now.