Words Abiding in Me

Still counting things to be thankful for...

1. My doctor will be ready to operate in two weeks so I am going to wait for him instead of going with someone else. (He hurt himself yesterday but will be ok!) That means it will be scheduled for the week of May 13.

2. The mass has NOT attached to my muscle even though very close.

3.  flowers for 23 years of marriage

4.  creamy oatmeal with butter, golden raisins and Blue Lantern Inn granola

5. notes, cards, flowers and messages that remind me I am not alone

6. coming out of an MRI machine tube alive

7. nurses who treat you like their own daughter within minutes of knowing each other

8.  that only a partial mastectomy is necessary

9. being able to laugh over a flat tire on the electra... it matters so little

10. balancing on rocks that waves are crashing against


I'll bet you are all starting to think I am turning this into a little vacation, lol. Ben and I stole away to the Blue Lantern Inn perched on a cliff edge overlooking Dana Point Cove for a few days and it was perfectly timed. I imagined that falling onto the fluffy white bed would be like sleeping in a cloud and it was true...such a luxury to sleep when you want to! There were endless walks to take below or above the cliffs, each one with ocean smells, sights and wind in your hair.  Roses and electra bike rides down the coast softened the anxiety of waiting for final details, and when they came, we rejoiced by eating more good food.

 I guess you could say the shock is wearing off and I feel like I'm anticipating a really long run (years ago)...anticipation with the full realisation that what lies ahead will test my resolve, and that walking or quitting will never be an acceptable alternative to stop the pain.

Ben and I talked a lot about God, and healing, and prayer.  Did I just open a pandora's box?

"If you abide in Me and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you."  John 15:7

It's easy to forget that little phrase there, "and My words abide in you" and just skip on over to the "you shall have whatever you ask for" part.  One comes before the other because the asking done in the context will be done.  His word, abiding in me, the written words of God, the spoken words of God abiding in me.  Before I ask for anything I believe this is the place to start. Last Sunday the word to our church was, in order to hear God for yourself, you must read His word, and then listen for the very still and small voice like Elijah heard. Then like Samuel in the temple, call back to Him, "I'm trying to know
Your voice Lord. Am I hearing You? Please confirm to me that I have heard what you are telling me in your word."

 I've personally never been a patient listener. I get caught up in the urgency of the moment and my desire to start running rather than to sit at the crossroads and make sure I know where I am supposed to go. I guess you could say that is where I am in praying for healing. Three weeks from now they could open me and find nothing, if that is the will of my sovereign Father.  Three weeks from now they could open me up and take out what they expected, if that is the will of my sovereign Father.  Either way,  I am doing my best to abide and my prayer is that He is glorified in everything.